Besides the fact that I missed out on my spring break trip and hanging out with friends and that prom and graduation aren’t certain, the situation hasn’t affected me too negatively. I’ve tried to make the most of all my free time and do things I enjoy and start to do some more of stuff I hadn’t previously had time for. I’m trying to start cooking more because while school was going on it was hard for me to have healthy and nutritious vegetarian meals. I’d always eat ramen or chips for lunch and dinner so I’m definitely taking advantage of the extra time to learn to cook. One thing I’m really worried about is college because my mom doesn’t think I’ll be able to go away for college due to the stock market crash. I was also counting on my spring break trip to California to visit SDSU to confirm that that’s where I want to go but now I don’t know and I’m really worried I’ll make the wrong decision about college and end up wasting a ton of money. That’s pretty much the biggest issue for me right now but I feel like I’ve done good at making the most of the situation other than that.

If I could choose between being the smartest or funniest person in the room I’d definitely want to be the funniest because I always like when I make people laugh, especially my friends. It just makes me really happy and laughter in general is seriously one of the best feelings ever. And although being smart is important to me, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized there are much more important qualities about a person. Some people say they’re intimidated around a group of really smart people but I’m much more intimidated by super popular and even sometimes super good looking people. Sense of humor is very important to me in my friendships so I really want to reflect that aspect in my own personality.

Last night I had trouble falling asleep because of stress and I woke up and read a snapchat from my friend which made my heart beat stronger and for this whole day I’ve had periods of as long as ten minutes where my heartbeat felt faster than usual. I’m always at least somewhat stressed about something but I’ve been a little more stressed than usual because I’ve been thinking about other things like prom. I feel pretty crappy about the fact that all my friends have a date to prom except for me. It really isn’t the best feeling and it’s kind of just been lingering in my mind for awhile. There’s really nothing I can do about it though so I’m trying to accept it and let it stop stressing me out.

I would definitely rather be a regular citizen of a utopian society than a leader of a dystopian society. For the most part I just don’t want to have anything to do with a dystopian society. I’d much rather live in a place that is not corrupt and in urgent danger. I also just feel no need to be a leader. I’m not a person that needs to feel like they have control of something, being just another citizen is perfectly fine with me.

I’d definitely prefer to be invisible because I always want to know what people are saying about me and this would be a good way to find out. I could just go up to my friends when they think I’m not there and listen in to see if they’re saying anything bad about me. Also if I ever look super ugly and don’t want to be seen in school I could turn invisible and be able to go to my classes. I also would have the option of stealing (not that I would) but if I ever happened to be absolutely starving and not have money with me I could go to the store and steal something without revealing myself. I’m not too tempted to do that but the option would be there.

I’d rather do cartwheels when I left a room than have to announce myself when I enter. Mostly because I think announcing myself would be a little obnoxious and I don’t consider myself an obnoxious person. But there’s also several places you really should not enter loudly. Also I don’t have a problem with doing cartwheels, unless I’m wearing a skirt or dress.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things this week including school stress, friend drama, boy issues, who I’m going to go to prom with and much more. And personally, no matter how stressful school gets, personal and social stress always seems to have a bigger impact on me. Maybe it’s just the fact that I’m in my last semester of senior year but I’ve found it hard to really focus on school and my friendships and high school experience seem to occupy most of my thoughts.

At my old school we had uniforms and for a while I only had shorts that were way too tight for me but I had no problem with them. Eventually some of my teachers started getting me in trouble for having too tight of shorts so I had to buy new ones. I hardly even understand the problem because they still fit the uniform so I don’t see why the size mattered. But I bought new shorts as they told me to and they ended up being absolutely ginormous. They were so baggy that I was embarrassed to wear them normally so I rolled them up to be shorter. But then I started getting in trouble for that and soon one of my teachers started looking at other parts of my clothing. She said something about my socks once but I guess it was too insignificant for me to remember. But she started to mention how my bra straps were always showing and by this point I was fed up. I was wearing a sports bra one day and she called me out for having it showing even though it’s not adjustable so there was seriously nothing I could do about it. So I deliberately pulled them out and over my shirt sleeves in the most obnoxious way possible. And this combined with the laughter of all my friends was enough for her to send her to the scary lady at school ( now that I think about it I don’t know what she does) to tell her what I’d done. It’s kind of embarrassing to think about that I pulled out my straps for my whole class to see; my friend who’s also here at Iolani tells my friends this story because apparently it’s just so funny.

Why all plastic should be banned

So far I’ve liked the more expressive and creative aspect of writing my This I Believe essay. The last few times I’ve written essays for classes I haven’t been able to be very creative about it so it’s nice to not have to do much research and instead just talk about my thoughts and experiences on my topic (Mcdonalds at 2 AM). I did however choose kind of a tough topic because the story I told was kind of short and I feel like there’s not much else to add even though it’s not long enough yet. I guess I just need to be more descriptive about what I like about this topic but I feel like I’ve said all that I needed to say which makes it kind hard to wrap everything up nicely.